韦氏观察

‘The native speakers weren’t more intelligent than the foreigners, but they sounded it, and so they were heard’

To be born an Englishman,” Cecil Rhodes supposedly said, “is to win first prize in the lottery of life.” But the old imperialist was wrong. What he should have said was, “To be born an English- speaker…” The global rise of bad English is helping us native speakers rise.
“生为英国人，”相传塞西尔•罗德斯(Cecil Rhodes)曾经说过，“相当于中了人生中第一张彩票。”这位老帝国主义者说错了，他应该说，“生为英语国家的人……”蹩脚的英语在全球盛行，帮助我们这些以英语为母语的人跟着得势。

I first realised our advantage at a conference last year. The speakers came from across northern Europe, but they all gave their talks in English – or a sort of English. Germans, Belgians and French people would stand up and, in monotones and distracting accents, read out speeches that sounded as if they’d been turned into English by computers. Sometimes the organisers begged them to speak their own languages, but they refused. Meanwhile the conference interpreters sat idle in their booths.

Each new speaker lost the audience within a minute. Yet whenever a native English-speaker opened his mouth, the audience listened. The native speakers sounded conversational, and could make jokes, add nuance. They weren’t more intelligent than the foreigners, but they sounded it, and so they were heard. Here, in microcosm, was a nascent international hierarchy: native English- speakers rule.
在去年的一次会议上，我首次意识到了我们的优势。演讲者来自北欧各地，但他们都用英语——或者说“英语的一种”——发言。德国人、比利时人和法国人站起来后，就用平板的语调，朗读仿佛是用机器翻译成英语的演讲稿。他们的口音让人不知所云。主办者有时恳请他们用母语发言，但遭到了他们的拒绝。在此期间，会议的翻译们无所事事地坐在自己的位子上。

每个演讲者都在开口的一分钟内失去了听众。而只要母语是英语的人一开口，人们就会静下来听讲。这些人侃侃而谈，妙语如珠，还不时开个玩笑。他们并不比外国人聪明，只是听上去如此，所以人们会听他们讲话。这不啻微观世界中一个初具雏形的国际等级体系：以英语为母语的人占尽风头。

English has been invading international settings since at least 1919, when the Treaty of Versailles was written in English as well as French. Later leg-ups for the language include the rise of American multinationals, the fall of the Berlin Wall, the coming of the internet and the opening of China, says Nigel White, head of international training and development at the Canning communications company.

Today about one in four humans speaks at least some English, according to the British Council. Many more want to learn it. Robert McCrum, co-author of The Story of English, hails “the apparent realisation of one of mankind’s oldest dreams – the end of Babel”.

Of course most of these new speakers don’t speak proper English. They speak “Globish” – a simple, dull, idiom-free version of English with a small vocabulary. Most Europeans at my conference, for instance, spoke Globish. Speakers of Globish often struggle to understand native English. They are confused by idioms, half- sentences, references to ancient TV programmes, or simply the British habit of not saying what you mean. Hilary Moore, a senior trainer at Canning, notes that Germans in particular don’t understand that when Britons say, “Well, it wasn’t fantastic,” they might in fact mean, “It was dreadful.” And some native speakers have impenetrable accents. “Nobody understands the Irish,” notes White. Foreigners often sit in English-language meetings getting tired, confused, jealous and irritated. A Dutch friend of mine describes a meeting in which 10 Dutch executives speak English to accommodate a single Briton – who, my friend grumbles, “sits there feeling superior”.

Because English-Globish misunderstandings are common, experts often warn that native English-speakers will suffer in this new world. However, native speakers simply need to learn Globish. White says a half-day course can teach native speakers to speak slowly, without irony, and to bin confusing verbs like “to put up with”.

Let’s say a native English-speaker can learn Globish in days. Compare that with the years it takes to learn French (let alone Mandarin). No wonder British teenagers have stopped bothering with foreign languages. French has dropped out of the top 10 subjects studied by British 16-year-olds. Why spend years learning to order a beer in bad French, when you can order it in Globish? Only a few specialists need to learn foreign languages well enough to penetrate foreign societies. For most Britons, bad French is no longer necessary.

Worse, learning a second language can actually disadvantage native English-speakers. If you speak mediocre French, you might find yourself speaking it in a business meeting with French people. That way they will sound quicker and smarter than you. Force them to speak English and you win.

In a Globish world, the native English-speaker triumphs. When you need to drop into Globish, you can. But when subtlety or speed is required, you beat them. Moore says native English-speakers often steer conversation, using phrases like, “Can I just jump in here…” and, “So what we’re saying is…” Foreigners sit mutely, trying to follow what’s being said.

This now happens even in Brussels, especially since the non- French-speaking eastern Europeans joined in 2004. Today most of the European Commission’s spokespeople speak English. Brits and Irish draft many official documents, because writing decent English is a strain for everyone else. So native-speakers quietly shape debate. The same happens in multinational companies, says Moore.

The strategy for native English-speakers is clear. Learn a bit of extra Globish, and Bob’s your uncle.*

* Translation for Globish-speaking readers: “Bob’s your uncle” means everything will be OK.

最晚从1919年起，英语就在不断入侵国际舞台。当时的《凡尔赛条约》(Treaty of Versailles)就是以英语和法语写就的。Canning Communications国际培训和发展部主管奈杰尔•怀特(Nigel White)指出，后来，美国跨国公司的兴起、柏林墙的倒塌、互联网的诞生以及中国的开放，都对有利于英语的发展。

根据英国大使馆文化教育处(British Council)的数据，如今大约每四个人中就有一个人会说英语。还有很多人想要学英语。《英语的故事》(The Story of English)的作者之一罗伯特•麦克拉姆(Robert McCrum)欢呼“人类最古老梦想之一——通达巴别塔之顶——显然已经实现”。

当然，这些新增加的说英语的人，大多数讲的不是地道的英语。他们讲的是“全球语”(Globish)——一种简单、乏味、词汇量极少、没有习语的英语。例如，在我参加的那次会议上，大多数欧洲人都讲全球语。讲全球语的人往往很难理解纯正的英语。习语、断句、引用老电视节目的话，以及英国人拐弯抹角的表述习惯，常常让他们摸不着头脑。Canning资深培训师希拉里•摩尔(Hilary Moore)表示，当英国人说“嗯，这没什么了不起”时，德国人尤其理解不了，实际上这话可能是说，“真叫人讨厌。”而且，有些以英语为母语的人口音很重。“谁也听不懂爱尔兰人的话!”怀特指出。在使用英语的会议上，外国人常常被搞得既疲劳又困惑，还加上嫉妒和搓火。一位荷兰朋友跟我提起一次会议的情形：会上有10位荷兰高管，为了一位英国人，大家不得不讲英语。我这位朋友抱怨道，那个英国人“带着优越感坐在那儿”。

由于英语和全球语之间时常存在误解，专家们经常警告说，在这个新世界，以英语为母语的人将会吃亏。其实不然，以英语为母语的人只需掌握全球语即可。怀特说，半天的课程，就能教会以英语为母语的人缓慢地讲话，不语带讽刺，不使用诸如“put up with”之类让人摸不着头脑的动词短语。

就算以英语为母语的人掌握全球语需要一些时日吧。跟这相比，学法语可是需要好多年的时间（更别提中文了）。难怪英国的青少年们已经不必为学外语而烦恼。法语已经掉出英国16岁学生必学的十大科目之列。既然有全球语，又何必花多年时间去学法语，到头来也只能用蹩脚的法语点菜？只有少数专家需要学好外语，以深入理解外国的社会。大多数英国人已经不需要去学说一口蹩脚法语了。

更不妙的是，学一门外语实际上可能使你失去以英语为母语的优势。如果你会讲一点法语，那么在有法国人参加的商务会议上，你可能会用法语发言。如此一来，那些法国人听上去就会比你更加聪明和灵敏。逼着他们跟你讲英语，你才会占上风。

在全球语盛行的世界，以英语为母语的人有优势。当你需要讲全球语时，你能讲。当需要噼里啪啦讲话，需要讲得很微妙时，你会胜过他们。摩尔表示，以英语为母语的人常常用“我能插句话吗……”、“我们正在说的是……”之类的习语，来驾驭谈话过程。而外国人则默然静坐，试图听懂大家在说些什么。

这阵风如今甚至已经刮到了布鲁塞尔，特别是自从2004年东欧非法语国家加入欧盟以来。如今，欧盟委员会(EC)的大部分发言人都会讲英语。许多官方文件由英国人和爱尔兰人起草，因为用规范的英语书写，对别人来说很费劲。所以说，以英语为母语的人在悄然左右着国际辩论。摩尔指出，跨国公司也是同样的情形。

对以英语为母语的人来说，应该怎么做已是显而易见：额外学点全球语，然后便Bob’s your uncle*。

*为讲全球语的读者翻译一下：Bob’s your uncle，意思是“万事大吉”。

Source:FT中文网
By Simon Kuper; 译者：杨远